What I was going to say
by Anjirika
Summary: –Drabble– Set two years after ’38 Minutes’. Elizabeth finally confronts John about what he was going to say. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!


Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, MGM does! I am just borrowing them for the moment...

Stargate Atlantis  
Drabble- Two years after '38 minutes'

What I was going to say ...

He'd noticed that she'd been distant all day. What ever was on her mind, it was huge. John knew this because she hardly said a word during their briefing and through out the day she stayed in her office. John and Rodney watched from a distance, both trying to figure out what was wrong with her.

"Some one has to talk to her." Rodney muttered, causing John to shift his focus to his friend.

"And by some one you mean me right?" John asked with a knowing grin.

"Well- you and she-" Rodney sighed and stopped after getting flustered.

"Rodney...?" John asked warningly.

"Well, let's just say that you and Elizabeth have a very close relationship-"

"When you save someone's life a couple of times- that kinda happens." John interrupted, knowing that Rodney was right. "Alright, alright. I'll go talk to her."

John wandered over to Elizabeth's office and stood in her doorway, watching her. She was obviously deep in thought because she was just staring into space. Little did he know, that he was the reason for her being distracted.

_"How is Major Sheppard?" Elizabeth asked tentatively, hoping that he was getting better. _

"I'm still here." John replied, grimacing through the pain.

"Hang in there, Major." Elizabeth stated firmly. "We're working on the problem."

"I know you are." John replied, with another grimace as he made up his mind to tell her. "Listen, uh, I'd like to say something while I still can..."

"Don't!" Elizabeth interrupted suddenly, her body tensing up and her breath catching in her throat. "You're gonna get through this."

"If I was ..." John began after smiling at her optimism. "...he wouldn't have let me go."

"Who wouldn't have let you go?" Elizabeth asked, worried about who he could have been talking about.

"The Wraith." John stated sullenly, thinking back to that moment. "I guess he saw me as good as dead, 'cause he just walked away, so ..." John paused and cleared his throat, hoping to get what he wanted to say out. "What I wanted to say was ..."

"Save your strength John," Elizabeth interrupted, using his name in the hopes that he wouldn't tell her just yet. "-and tell me in person.

"This is important." John insisted.

" I'm listening." Elizabeth stated after closing her eyes with a sigh.

'Whatever John was going to say,' Elizabeth thought to herself glumly. 'I never found out. I-'

"Elizabeth?"

"Yes?" Elizabeth asked, raising her head and snapping out of her daze. "What can I do for you John?"

"You can start," John began sitting opposite her. "-by telling me what's wrong with you."

"Nothing's wrong with me." Elizabeth insisted, leaning back into her chair. "Why do you ask?"

"It's just that you've been distracted all day." John explained. "We've all noticed it."

"Well, I appreciate your concern but-"

"Come on Elizabeth!" John interrupted with a frustrated sigh. "I know you too well, tell me what's on your mind."

"Alright." Elizabeth agreed with a sigh. "Do- do you know what day this is?"

"Uh-" John racked his memory for the significance of this particular day and in a moment he was bombarded with the memories of that damn bug stuck to his neck. 'Could she be distracted over that?' John thought to himself before he answered Elizabeth. "Yeah, two years ago today, that damn bug was attached to my neck."

"It was the first time I- we nearly lost you." Elizabeth whispered, catching John's attention.

"Yeah, but I didn't go anywhere." John pointed out, trying to lighten the mood. "So what has you so distracted?"

"You were going to tell me something in the jumper," Elizabeth began softly, her mind reliving those moments. "But I wouldn't let you, and then in the infirmary I asked you again- and you brushed it off."

"And..."

"And I've always wondered." Elizabeth stated looking up into John's eyes. "What were you going to say?"

"Does it really matter?" John asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"It matters to me, John." Elizabeth stated leaning forward on her desk. "What were you going to say? And tell the truth, please."

"Alright." John agreed before taking a deep breath and telling he what he was going to say those two years ago. "What I was going to say was...thank you."

"Thank you?" Elizabeth asked, not understanding. "Thank you to whom?"

"To you."

"To me?" Elizabeth asked, shocked and confused at why John would have wanted to say thank you to her. "Why?"

"For believing in me." John admitted, with a small grin. "Back then, I had wanted to thank you for believing in me because back on Earth I didn't think that anyone really wanted me around- and that, that was the reason I had been shipped to Antarctica- but I never felt that anyone truly believed in me- not with my record the way it was...that is, not until you Elizabeth." John explained softly. "That is what I wanted to say."

"Oh John," Elizabeth whispered with a smile, glad that he shared that with her. "I will always believe in you. No matter what-"

**Fin.**

A/N- Another little drabble...this one (unlike the others) was written when my computer was busted temporarily. Anyways, hope you liked it! Please Review if ya did!


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